This was the last week of classes before winter break took hold. They would receive three weeks off from school and most people were planning a get away. Even Dalen had been mentioning a trip together, but Riane didn't know if she was ready to travel. However, she didn't want her friends to run off and leave her all alone.
That morning, Julian had looked a little down and had barely spoken during breakfast. When Bryce tried to irritate him, he just ignored him.
Riane took their car to school and left Joe standing in front of the house without a word spoken to her. She felt somewhat bad for the way she handled it, but decided that Joe deserved the cold shoulder for now. Bryce had gone over to explain that she would be riding with them that morning. She had to sit in the front seat with the driver as the three boys took up the backseat.
Zack's driver had decided to retire after his surgery and their parents thought that one driver was working out well enough. Zack hadn't really spoken much to Riane since that day in the music room. Occasionally, she would see him peeking in through the double doors, but when he realized she noticed he would run away. She decided that she would let him come to her when he was ready.
He was acting quietly as he didn't seem to like the idea of Riane in the car, and Riane felt like she had inserted herself somewhere she didn't belong. That left only Bryce trying to liven up the car's atmosphere. It didn't work.
When the car finally pulled up to Zack's school, he jumped out as quickly as possible. He ran into the high school that was fully heated unlike CHU where one had to walk between buildings and sometimes classes in the cold.
"Come sit in the back, Riane." Bryce asked and she did as she was told.
Julian had been sitting in the middle and remained there as she sat down beside him. She gave him a slight smile and he returned it then went immediately back to his contemplation.
"Going to be windy today. I hope you both brought scarves." Bryce yanked on his scarf that was around his neck. "Going to need it for your face."
Riane was heading a dark brown headband that went over her ears but kept them warm. She didn't like wearing the normal hats as she thought they made her look homeless. Joe had agreed with that notion.
Julian and his brothers were wearing the hats though each with their own color. Bryce had black, Julian had red, and Zack had dark blue.
"It's in my backpack." She explained. "I don't like wearing them too much. It makes me feel like someone is trying to choke me."
Bryce chuckled. "Yeah, I dislike anything covering my mouth, but its that or having your lips freeze off."
She looked down at her gloved hands and then back up to Bryce, "You could just walk around with your hand over your mouth." She demonstrated.
"Walk around like that and everyone will think you are completely surprised or about to throw up." He laughed.
Riane lowered her own hands and laughed as well.
"Will you two stop?" Julian snapped. "I am between you two. I don't want to be the meat in your flirt sandwich."
Bryce rubbed the top of his brother's head, "First of all, it wasn't flirting. Second of all," He turned his attention to Riane, "I think he is jealous."
He smacked his brother's hand away. "I am not." He snapped before noticing that the university was in sight. "Thank god!"
They pulled up and Julian nearly shoved Riane out of the car before heading towards the gym. Bryce got out and shut the door behind him.
"Man, he is in full ass mode today." He said to her as other students passed by them on their way to classes.
She nodded.
"Do you know what is wrong?"
She shook her head and shrugged, "Maybe it's PMS."
Bryce smirked, "See you after classes."
Riane looked around for Dalen or Seth, but they didn't seem to be around. She wondered if they were mad that she had snubbed Joe that morning. A deep heaviness came over her heart when she realized she might have to walk through the crowd by herself.
As she approached the gate, her breathing shortened and her heart beat rapidly in her chest. "You can do this." She mumbled as her mantra once she stepped through.
It didn't matter the panic attack began as soon as she approached the main court that was just a mecca of anxiety. She tried as she had done before to think of other routes to get to her class, but there were none that wouldn't make her late. She wasn't going to pass out. She refused.
"Get the little bitch!" A voice called out in the crowd and three men chased after a thin blonde girl whose backpack and large jacket slowed her down considerably.
They threw snowballs at her until she slipped and fell in a snow bank. The three men came to stand over her as they picked up more snow.
"What you say, bitch?" One asked her.
"I said I am not leaving this school!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. "I don't care what you do to me!"
They all tossed the snow balls at her, until one reached down to grab her arm. "You are leaving! Right now!"
"Get away from her!" Riane screamed even though she had no breath of her own.
The students that ignored the commotion turned to look towards her, and the three men stared. The one that held the girl's arm let go which crashed her back into the snow, as Riane marched over to them.
"You should be ashamed of yourselves! Three men treating one girl this way! Get out of here!" She barked.
"That's the charity case!" He argued.
"Get away from her!" She simply screamed again.
They stared at her for a moment, before moving away.
"We aren't done." One threatened.
"Yes, you are!" Riane retorted, before turning back to the girl. "Are you alright?" She asked holding out her hand.
The blonde slapped it away. "Fuck off!"
"I am really sorry about that. Just a couple months ago, I was being picked on because they thought I was a boy." She told the blonde as she managed to stand up on her own.
"I don't know what that means." She snapped curtly.
"Riane Nairne. I am a freshman." She held out her hand to her.
The girl looked at it for a moment, before reaching out to shake her hand. "Emma McClure, same."
"Nice to meet you."
Emma looked at the other woman for a moment, "Same to you. Uh, thanks for helping me out. I knew this school didn't like it's charity cases, but this is too far. But, I didn't work my ass off in high school to get this scholarship only to be chased out by trust fund thugs!"
Riane giggled at the woman's anger. "That's the spirit."
Emma slowly smiled at her. "Thanks."
"Where is your class?"
She pointed in the same direction that Riane needed to go, which was somewhat of a relief. "Oh good. So, a favor for a favor?"
"Um, ok."
Bryce was on his way to meet his friends before classes started. Neither of them had taken the earliest class as they had taken extra classes as freshmen and sophomores so they could have some free time in the last two years of college. It had been worth it to get the morning off to do extra classwork or just hang out with his friends. Then they got an extended lunch time so they could easily go off campus for lunch.
The cellphone in his back pocket vibrated and he knew right away who it was from. Catherine always sent him a text in the morning when she knew he had arrived at school. Due to the time difference she had already been in classes for a couple hours.
"Good morning! He proposed!" Read the text.
"Congrats." He replied with a frown on his face though he sent a smiley face to her, then shoved the phone back into his pocket.
Stepping into the student lounge, he found his friends at their usual table. The room was mostly tables and chairs with a couple of couches. There were vending machines for food and drink with a couple sparsely placed garbage cans.
The room was mostly empty of other students as not many had done the extra classes and then still showed up in time for first classes.
"You look pissed." Chad said as Bryce sat down beside him in his usual chair.
Bryce sighed, "Catherine just texted me that she got engaged."
All three men shook their heads.
"Why do you still talk to your ex? It's unnatural." Brian sat with his elbows on the table and a soda can in his hands. He was a natural athlete. Tall and well built with brown hair and eyes. He seemed to change girlfriends as often as he did his underwear.
"I agree." Luke echoed. He had thick black rim glasses, blonde hair, and his natural charm was also no stranger to ex-girlfriends, but he had a different approach than Brian. Where Brian used his good looks, Luke used his brain, charisma, and honesty. It seemed to work rather well for him.
"We were close and I want to remain that way." Bryce told them the excuse that he had been telling himself for years.
"I saw you shopping with your brother's girl." Chad decided to change the subject for his best friend. He knew this was a sore subject and had no idea why Bryce would bring it up.
"Why didn't you say hi?"
"You looked cozy and I didn't want to disturb you. Are you trying to steal her away?" He was only teasing and the rest of the group knew it. They all cackled at the thought of Bryce ever acting in such a manner.
"I might." Bryce replied back playfully.
It was as ridiculous to think of Bryce acting immorally as it was Chad. He and Kalei had been together since high school. They were what Bryce had wanted for him and Catherine.
Chad always dressed well and his black hair was always brushed perfectly into shape and always clean cut. He and Bryce could not have been more alike in their thinking, which was probably why they had been friends since elementary school.
"How's that going between them?" Chad inquired.
"Boring!" Brian announced before getting up and heading over to the vending machines, and Luke was right behind him.
"He seems to be getting attached and not just in a friendly way. I don't think he knows what is going on other than he wants all her time to himself." Bryce told him with laughter in his voice. "It's fun to tease him."
Chad smirked, "Uh, yeah, it's always been fun to get that little asshole riled up. The hissy fits alone are worth the price of admission."
"I just don't know if she sees him in the same way. I am not very good at reading her." He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.
"No? You usually are." Chad had a small cup of coffee in front of him that he sipped out of every couple of seconds.
Bryce slowly shook his head, "It's driving me insane. I keep trying to get close and figure her out. At first it was to know the woman that might be my sister-in-law someday, and now it is just a challenge to understand. I tried to let it go for a couple months. I thought that if I lived around her that it would eventually happen, but she is a hard read."
"Emotionless?"
He shook his head, "Nah. Plenty of emotion. It is just that I can never figure out what emotions will manifest, or how she will react to anything. Part of me wonders if she is a sociopath or something, but I know it is not right to act like a psychiatrist."
Chad thought for a moment, "You should be careful."
"What? Why?"
"Focusing on someone like this might cause feelings whether you want them or not, and we both know it would be disastrous for you to get feelings for your future sister-in-law. Not to mention the damage it would cost to your relationship with your brother, even if you never tell him." Chad took another dip from his coffee.
Bryce sighed audibly. "Yeah, maybe you are right. Still, I got to help Julian out and it seems hanging around her makes him feel it more. It's also funny to watch."
"He could do it all on his own. You know sometimes in order to help someone you do nothing at all. Let him fly or fall. He'll learn."
He rolled his eyes, "Aren't you full of wisdom today?"
Chad shrugged, before he chuckled. "I read a bunch of inspiring quotes last night instead of doing my homework."
Brian and Luke returned to the table with several goodies from the vending machine. They were for everyone but Bryce rarely ate anything as he was always provided more than enough for breakfast at home.
"That girl, Callie, has been asking about you. I think she is interested." Brian told Bryce as he peeled the wrapper off a candy bar.
"Not interested." Bryce said without hesitation.
"Oh come on." Luke spat, "She is good looking, nice, and smart. The only bad quality I can think of is that she likes you."
The table laughed briefly, except for Bryce as he had heard that joke a thousand times from each one of these guys.
"I am just not interested in anything serious right now. I've told you guys that before, so just stop, please. I'll act when I am ready not because you want me to be ready." Bryce scolded them as he watched them chow down on their candy bars.
Chad picked up a bag of potato chips and ate a couple before tossing the bag back on the table. "He's right. Leave him alone."
"If we don't push, he'll never do anything." Luke argued.
"It's true. He doesn't want anything serious, but I don't see you going after anything else either. Tell me the truth. The last time you had sex was with Catherine right? At her going away party?" Brian was purposefully trying to provoke him.
"Mind your own business, Brian." Bryce growled.
"Seriously, Brian. Who raised you?" Chad snapped.
He waved his hand at them. "Whatever you two. You'll never get anything in life if you don't go look for it. That's all I am saying."
"Well, say something else, because this topic of discussion is over." Bryce barked.
Riane had explained her anxiety to Emma, who was more than happy to walk her to her classroom. Once the class was over, Emma appeared at her side to walk her to the next one. It happened with almost all of the classes, except when Emma's classroom was across campus and she wouldn't make it in time.
The two talked on their short walks. Emma telling her about how she had moved from across the country. Her parents were middle class and they could afford a one bedroom apartment for her here at great cost to themselves, but she had to work at a cafe in order to get money to pay for bills and additional costs.
She told her how she worked hard throughout high school because she knew her parents wouldn't be able to afford college. She had to get a full scholarship and had many offers came her way when she started applying. In truth, she had much more lucrative offers from other colleges, but CHU was always her first choice.
She loved how the college established it's classes to be more like a high school than other college campuses. She loved it's history and she loved it's location. It had been a long talk with her parents knowing they would have to sacrifice for her to come here. They hadn't hesitated. "It is only for four years" had been her parent's motto that discussion.
Riane had listened to her new friend talk about herself, but didn't really say much about her own life. She liked to hear the story of the happy family that sacrifices for each other.
Lunch time came around and Riane stepped out of her class and looked around for Emma. The girl came running through the crowd, happy to see her.
"Let's grab some lunch?" Emma asked. She always asked if she wanted to be walked to the next classroom as if she wasn't certain if she was over stepping her boundaries.
Riane nodded, "Sure, but I eat with friends. Do you want to meet them?"
"Sounds scandalous! Sure." Emma and her walked together to the cafeteria, where she stopped uncertain.
"Something the matter?"
Emma looked embarrassed. "Meals here are too expensive. I bring my lunch." She pointed at her backpack. "I usually find a spot to hide away from everyone in there."
Riane considered what she was saying for a moment, "Ok, I'll grab something that we will both like and we can share?"
She grinned, "Of course. It's just a turkey sandwich and some chips though."
"Sounds great. I'll grab my food and then introduce you to my friends, alright?"
Riane quickly went through the line and appeared in front of Emma again. She almost looked relieved to see her walk out of the cafeteria as if she had been afraid of being abandoned. She had been too afraid to enter inside herself, even as the other students passed by her with looks that told her she was not welcomed.
Walking over to the table where the boys were, Seth was the first to notice them. He waved Riane over and was surprised to see a girl following behind her.
"Hey, guys. This is Emma." Riane sat her tray down on the table and Emma sat down beside her.
Julian stared down at his bowl of chowder and didn't respond.
"This is Seth, Dalen, and Julian." Riane introduced them and Emma gave them a slight wave. "I met her when I couldn't find you guys this morning."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I ran late." Seth explained.
Dalen didn't answer and instead looked to Emma. "You are the charity case, aren't you?"
Riane sighed, before correcting him. "Scholarship student."
"I thought the school stopped doing that when they found out that rich girl took the scholarship and pretended to be poor." Seth seemed confused.
"They did for a couple years, but there was a big ruckus about it from the community. They said it was wrong to punish all future students for the misdeeds of one." Dalen explained.
Julian looked up from his bowl, and over to Riane. "You have some poor kid escorting you around the school? At least, pay her."
"Julian, don't be rude." Riane scolded and looked over at Emma. "He's just a jerk, pay him no mind."
"He's your fiancee." Seth teased.
Emma looked shocked, "You didn't tell me you were engaged. Congratulations?"
"It's arranged, don't be too excited." Riane laughed as did Seth and Dalen, though Emma did not see the humor.
"Arranged, I didn't know that was even legal." Emma said with shock in her voice and put her hand to her chest. "You two don't even like each other then?"
"We were friends before it happened."
"It's not really any of your business, how we feel towards each other, now is it?" Julian snapped. "Mind your own business."
"Really, Julian. This is why we only have one female friend." Seth barked back but playfully, before looking back to Emma. "So, what is your major?"
"Computer Science. I wanted to do graphic design and make video games, but it looks like I'll just be programming the game instead. My art is terrible." Emma pulled out her brown paper bag from her backpack and placed it on the table.
Riane had gotten a large slice of pepperoni pizza with a knife to cut it, and had been doing so while Emma talked with Seth.
"That sounds terribly boring." Seth joked.
"It really is." Emma replied as she took her chips and sandwich out of the bag. "Are you sure, you want to share?"
"Yes." Riane pointed to her pizza slice that was now cut in half.
"You'll share with a stranger you just met today, but I eat off your spoon and you lose your mind." Julian growled.
"She is eating food not licking my silverware. What is your problem today?" Riane asked as Emma put half of her sandwich on Riane's tray.
When Emma realized that Julian wouldn't reply, she began to speak. "I make my own garlic aoili. I hope you like it."
Picking up the sandwich, Riane took a bite and gave a thumbs up as she chewed. When she finally swallowed, she put her fingers up to her mouth and made a kissing noise. "That is so good. You make that yourself?"
"Yes. It's not difficult."
"Can I try?" Seth asked.
Riane cut a piece off with her knife and offered it to him, and he down the whole piece in one bite. Emma looked anxious over his answers.
"Oh, man, that is really good. Dalen likes to cook too." He turned to his quiet friend, "You should try this."
Dalen turned annoyed towards Riane as she offered him a piece of the sandwich. He ate it quickly at first, but then slowed his annoyed movement. "How do you make it that creamy? Mine is always a little bit thinner."
"Grapeseed oil with the olive oil." She explained.
"You want to try Julian?" Riane asked.
He looked up from his bowl of chowder that he hadn't yet touched, and frowned. "I don't want a piece of a sandwich you all have passed around the table."
Riane sighed, "You are really grumpy today, you know that?"
He responded with silence and returned to his uneaten soup. Riane looked across the table to Seth, who merely shrugged his shoulders.
Adonia had watched Riane get her lunch, leave the cafeteria, and return with another woman in tow. She had stared as she introduced her new friend to the guys and acted as if they had not learned something truly frustrating about Blake.
Was she not even thinking about it? Was it so easy to ignore the pain of another? Was she not even worth greeting?
Riane seemed perfectly fine and perhaps even happy with her situation. It was a difficult choice for Adonia not to blame Riane as others had. She was an easy target after all she was the reason that Blake messed up his past relationships. However, that was Blake putting Riane before the girlfriends not Riane demanding the attention.
"Where is Blake?" Kalei asked as she ate her chicken salad that she had meticulously measured out the dressing with a small tablespoon she carried on her keyring.
Adonia didn't answer and continued to stare at the woman in the distance. Jealousy seethed deep in her heart even when her brain continued to tell her that the jealousy was really frustration with Blake.
"Adonia?" Parker followed her line of sight, and thought it curious that she would be staring at Riane.
"Adonia?" Kalei said slightly louder and looked toward Parker who mouthed the name of the woman she was looking at.
Still she stared off into the distance, lost in her own world. Her eyes glazed over as she sat deep in thought.
"Adonia!" Parker barked and snapped her fingers in front of her friend's face until she blinked and turned her attention to them.
"Sorry, what?" Her eyes seemed to adjust to a more present look.
"Where is Blake?" Kalei asked again.
Adonia shrugged her shoulders and looked back down at her own salad. She hated salads but both her friends got one and she felt inclined.
Parker continued the inquest. "He isn't eating with us, and he isn't eating with Riane. I haven't seen him come in here."
She sighed, "We had a big argument over the weekend."
"You two fought, really?" Parker said in shock.
"Yeah, I can't imagine you two fighting. He is always so even tempered and calm." Kalei added as she ate a piece of chicken and some feta from her salad.
Adonia sighed, "I guess it would be more accurate to say that I fought and he calmly discussed, or at least he tried to."
"What happened?" Parker leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. She was always a fast eater and was pretty much done with her meal.
"I... He is an asshole." She growled.
Neither of her friends could understand why she would say such a thing, and both were shocked that Adonia would refer to him as such.
"Why?" Kalei leaned in closer. "What did he do?"
"Did he cheat?" Parker got herself angry.
Adonia shook her head and ran her hand through her hair. "No, we went on that double date with Julian and Riane. They seemed to like each other, I guess. Something still feels off about them. Anyway, I get invited over to Blake's house on Sunday, and he asks me if it would be alright if he pretended that he was engaged to Riane."
"What?" Both girls squeaked. "Why?"
"He seems to think that Riane isn't happy with him, and that she can move into his apartment in order for her to finish college, then he and I could officially be together again. That is my understanding at least." Adonia had been stabbing her food with her fork, but not actually eating any of it.
"That asshole." Parker hissed.
"Yeah, are you two not suppose to date at all or are you suppose to run around behind the curtains just pretending to be Riane's friend?" Kalei was eating her food like this was a movie and her salad was her popcorn.
"The latter, I suppose. I refused. If we got caught everyone would think that I am a cheater, and if they broke up and he and I got back together people would think that I broke them up." She pressed her lips together and tried to maintain a proper volume for her voice. "It is incredibly inconsiderate of him, and he just only sees it as protecting Riane."
"That explains the stink eye." Parker laughed.
"Yeah, you should end it with him. Obviously, he cares more about her than you." Kalei looked to Parker for validation of her opinion and got a nod of approval.
"I... I can't do that."
"What? Why?" They both chimed in together.
She took a deep breath, "It's not Riane's fault. All those years of him losing girlfriends; I always thought she was the reason that they were run away, but it isn't that at all is it? He just picks Riane over and over again, until there is no room for the girlfriend anymore."
"Are you saying like he is in love with her?" Parker drank from her water bottle after asking the question.
"I have not even considered it." She said flatly.
Kalei was quick to add to Parker's theory. "But... it would make sense. After all, he was stuck on her being a 'he' for so long maybe he got confused about his feelings towards her."
Adonia gave another huge sigh and licked her lips as she sat back in her chair. She thought for several moments before answering. "I don't know. It seems so heartbreaking to think that they both were in love with each other and couldn't admit it."
"You are seriously feeling bad for them, when you are the victim?" Kalei rolled her eyes. "I swear Adonia sometimes you are too sweet."
"What are you going to do, Adonia?" Parker decided now was not the time to tease her friend for having a caring heart.
"I am not going to let him chase me away. If he wants things to end than he has to end them." She saw the look of shock on their faces. "I know that sounds vengeful, and to some degree it is, but also I refuse to be just another girl he can blame Riane because they left him."
"So, you are protecting Riane?" Parker asked in confusion.
Adonia tossed her hands in the air, "I have no idea. I just know that I want to be different. If that means I stay and earn his real affection than I win, but if I am finally the woman that he is forced to end things with then I win too. Either way, things will be different. I won't be that same damn story that he constantly hides behind."
"Wow." Kalei barely spoke the word.
"I don't know if that makes you selfish or selfless." Parker added.
She pressed her lips together once more, "I guess there is only one way to find out."
"Well, I have a question." Kalei looked between both of the women. "Are you doing it because you are angry or because you love him?"
Adonia was surprised by the inquiry. "Love." She whispered the word.
Kalei smiled, "Well, then it's selfless. Anyone want to share a dessert? I have been having a craving for the chocolate mousse I saw in there."
Ivy worked the day shift at the old, dirty bar. It was a small two bartender bar with a green top, and green stools. There were about ten tables that sat four each and the whole place smelled of cooking oil.
It was mostly old men with nothing better to do with their days. During lunch time it would get a bit busy because their kitchen turned out rather decent bar appetizers that some liked for a meal.
At night she worked at a night club as a bartender as well. It had been where she had met Julian. She knew they weren't more than friends with benefits and at first she had fun with it. However, he started lingering by saying he didn't want to go home yet. He made breakfast a couple of times, and she in turn did it for him. It had begun to feel like a real relationship, even though he took other girls out of the club at times. They never talked about exclusivity so it was fine.
Making her last drink of the day, she poured the bourbon into the glass along with the bar's old fashion mix. Sitting in front of an elder man in his sixties, she smiled.
"Have a good one, Henry." She said as she took off her apron and tossed it into the bin.
He mumbled a goodbye.
She grabbed her cash register drawer as the bartender relieving her was waiting to put her own in. "Have fun." She told Beth as she headed to the manager's office up the stairs.
"You working at the club tonight?" Beth asked before she got to far.
She nodded, "Yeah, club on a Monday night, I'll be rolling in the cash."
Beth laughed as she put her drawer into the cash register. "See ya, hon."
Up the stairs she ascended until she reached the door. She knocked before opening it, and smiled at the chubby, short man that was her manager. "I'm heading out now."
"Ok, put it on my desk." Marty was looking at something on his computer monitor.
She did as she was asked and left him to his work. Her faux fur jacket was in the office with him and she grabbed it before heading back down the stairs.
"Bye, everyone!" She said loudly.
"Bye, Ivy." Was mostly mumbled through the quiet bar.
Stepping outside, she looked across the street to the apartments she lived in. They were all small studio apartments, but it was home to her.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she opened up her text screen and found Julian. "I am very sorry about the other night. I had drank way too much, and went insane. I am cutting back so it will never happen again, I promise."
She put the phone away and shoved her hands into her pockets, as she quickly crossed the street. She was embarrassed by her actions, and had been trying to apologize since it happened, but there was no reply. She knew that her relationship with Julian was over and it was once again because she hit that line from being a fun drunk to being angry and willing to do crazy things.
Pulling out her keys, she found her apartment on the first floor and opened the door.
The studio had a small kitchen consisting of a small stove, a tiny fridge, one counter top with cabinet attached, and a cupboard above it. The only other piece of furniture she had was a red love seat that she used as her bed or sometimes she slept on the floor in a sleeping bag. Julian had loved sleeping on the floor with her, he said it was like indoor camping. She had a tiny television that had been a gift from a friend that she had put on a box filled with books. It wasn't attached to any service so she only got local channels and they were rather unwatchable because of the static.
Walking over to the cupboard, she pulled out a package of ramen. She had to go into the bathroom to get water from the sink to fill the cooking pot. She used to buy water and store near the kitchen, but it took up a great deal of room and was expensive. There had been complaints about there being no sinks in the kitchen, but nothing ever came of it. Most people that lived here didn't want to cause a fuss because losing your home could easily occur.
She put the pot on the electric coil of the stove and stood there watching it boil for a moment, before walking into the bathroom and quickly brushing her white hair with pink tips. She looked at herself in the mirror for a couple seconds to check her skin for any imperfections.
Heading back out into the main room, she pulled her cellphone from her jacket pocket and opened the text screen again. "I would really like to apologize to your fiancee. I mean it. I am not trying to set you up or anything. At least, let me know that you apologized on my behalf."
She tossed the phone onto the couch and sat down with a big thud. This was what her life had boiled down to now.
She didn't have to live this way. Her mother was a pediatrician and her father was a police officer. They had raised three children together. One went to school to become a doctor, the other joined the military to follow in his father's footsteps, and Ivy, well, she was done with school. She had always hated it. She was always the problem child. The wild child. The child that wanted attention even if it was negative.
"Go to college or get out of my house!" Were the last words her father had said to her, and her mother had merely nodded her head in agreement.
She didn't know if they really thought she would leave, but she packed her bags and walked out before any more words could be said. She was eighteen and now six years later she was no better for her decision. Alcohol and drug abuse were just the common theme of her life since then, and she knew it fully well.
She had gone to meetings but she hated when they told her to give herself over to a higher power. They said that higher power could be anything she wanted; a tree, a cat, anything. The idea of giving up power over herself even if it were made up thing like a tree just caused her resentment. She was the power in her life, even if it was a shit hole apartment with two low paying jobs.
Her brother and sister had stopped talking to her after a while. All the abandonment was her fault and that much she could admit.
She had stopped her activities for around six months, but started up again one night when she was feeling lonely. That was probably why she clung to Julian so tightly when she knew he would run away in the end. Loneliness had been a driving force in her life.
She wondered what would have happened had she done what her parents said? Would she be a successful business woman? A nurse, maybe? Some weird job that she had never heard of but made a good amount of money. Would she have a stable relationship?
Or maybe she would be worse than this? Maybe she would be miserable about the job she was stuck in. Maybe she would hate the man she was with, but be too afraid to end things with him. Maybe she would be resentful of her parents for taking away her opportunity to explore herself before making any big decisions like a college degree.
"I just want to spend one year abroad, and then I'll go." She had told them and part of her knew it was a lie. She never wanted to step foot on a school campus again.
"You can spend time abroad on your own money!" Her father had yelled.
He wasn't exactly wrong, and she was lying about going to college. Her father knew her well enough. He said it to give her a reason to go and get a degree, even if only the community college would take her, unlike her sister.
Last she heard, her brother was out of the military and was working on his own degree, but she often heard things through eighth hand information sources. They didn't talk to her.
Her parents had showed up here one time and were disgusted by her living conditions. They wanted to send her to rehab, but she sent them away. She didn't want them to do anything for her ever again, because they used it to control her.
She sighed, as she thought about her situation now. She needed to apologize for what she had done, and if Julian wouldn't respond to her then she knew where to find his fiancee. It would mean a school campus, but she wanted to clear the air. She needed someone to forgive her even if it was only halfheartedly and then they never wanted to see her again.
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That morning, Julian had looked a little down and had barely spoken during breakfast. When Bryce tried to irritate him, he just ignored him.
Riane took their car to school and left Joe standing in front of the house without a word spoken to her. She felt somewhat bad for the way she handled it, but decided that Joe deserved the cold shoulder for now. Bryce had gone over to explain that she would be riding with them that morning. She had to sit in the front seat with the driver as the three boys took up the backseat.
Zack's driver had decided to retire after his surgery and their parents thought that one driver was working out well enough. Zack hadn't really spoken much to Riane since that day in the music room. Occasionally, she would see him peeking in through the double doors, but when he realized she noticed he would run away. She decided that she would let him come to her when he was ready.
He was acting quietly as he didn't seem to like the idea of Riane in the car, and Riane felt like she had inserted herself somewhere she didn't belong. That left only Bryce trying to liven up the car's atmosphere. It didn't work.
When the car finally pulled up to Zack's school, he jumped out as quickly as possible. He ran into the high school that was fully heated unlike CHU where one had to walk between buildings and sometimes classes in the cold.
"Come sit in the back, Riane." Bryce asked and she did as she was told.
Julian had been sitting in the middle and remained there as she sat down beside him. She gave him a slight smile and he returned it then went immediately back to his contemplation.
"Going to be windy today. I hope you both brought scarves." Bryce yanked on his scarf that was around his neck. "Going to need it for your face."
Riane was heading a dark brown headband that went over her ears but kept them warm. She didn't like wearing the normal hats as she thought they made her look homeless. Joe had agreed with that notion.
Julian and his brothers were wearing the hats though each with their own color. Bryce had black, Julian had red, and Zack had dark blue.
"It's in my backpack." She explained. "I don't like wearing them too much. It makes me feel like someone is trying to choke me."
Bryce chuckled. "Yeah, I dislike anything covering my mouth, but its that or having your lips freeze off."
She looked down at her gloved hands and then back up to Bryce, "You could just walk around with your hand over your mouth." She demonstrated.
"Walk around like that and everyone will think you are completely surprised or about to throw up." He laughed.
Riane lowered her own hands and laughed as well.
"Will you two stop?" Julian snapped. "I am between you two. I don't want to be the meat in your flirt sandwich."
Bryce rubbed the top of his brother's head, "First of all, it wasn't flirting. Second of all," He turned his attention to Riane, "I think he is jealous."
He smacked his brother's hand away. "I am not." He snapped before noticing that the university was in sight. "Thank god!"
They pulled up and Julian nearly shoved Riane out of the car before heading towards the gym. Bryce got out and shut the door behind him.
"Man, he is in full ass mode today." He said to her as other students passed by them on their way to classes.
She nodded.
"Do you know what is wrong?"
She shook her head and shrugged, "Maybe it's PMS."
Bryce smirked, "See you after classes."
Riane looked around for Dalen or Seth, but they didn't seem to be around. She wondered if they were mad that she had snubbed Joe that morning. A deep heaviness came over her heart when she realized she might have to walk through the crowd by herself.
As she approached the gate, her breathing shortened and her heart beat rapidly in her chest. "You can do this." She mumbled as her mantra once she stepped through.
It didn't matter the panic attack began as soon as she approached the main court that was just a mecca of anxiety. She tried as she had done before to think of other routes to get to her class, but there were none that wouldn't make her late. She wasn't going to pass out. She refused.
"Get the little bitch!" A voice called out in the crowd and three men chased after a thin blonde girl whose backpack and large jacket slowed her down considerably.
They threw snowballs at her until she slipped and fell in a snow bank. The three men came to stand over her as they picked up more snow.
"What you say, bitch?" One asked her.
"I said I am not leaving this school!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. "I don't care what you do to me!"
They all tossed the snow balls at her, until one reached down to grab her arm. "You are leaving! Right now!"
"Get away from her!" Riane screamed even though she had no breath of her own.
The students that ignored the commotion turned to look towards her, and the three men stared. The one that held the girl's arm let go which crashed her back into the snow, as Riane marched over to them.
"You should be ashamed of yourselves! Three men treating one girl this way! Get out of here!" She barked.
"That's the charity case!" He argued.
"Get away from her!" She simply screamed again.
They stared at her for a moment, before moving away.
"We aren't done." One threatened.
"Yes, you are!" Riane retorted, before turning back to the girl. "Are you alright?" She asked holding out her hand.
The blonde slapped it away. "Fuck off!"
"I am really sorry about that. Just a couple months ago, I was being picked on because they thought I was a boy." She told the blonde as she managed to stand up on her own.
"I don't know what that means." She snapped curtly.
"Riane Nairne. I am a freshman." She held out her hand to her.
The girl looked at it for a moment, before reaching out to shake her hand. "Emma McClure, same."
"Nice to meet you."
Emma looked at the other woman for a moment, "Same to you. Uh, thanks for helping me out. I knew this school didn't like it's charity cases, but this is too far. But, I didn't work my ass off in high school to get this scholarship only to be chased out by trust fund thugs!"
Riane giggled at the woman's anger. "That's the spirit."
Emma slowly smiled at her. "Thanks."
"Where is your class?"
She pointed in the same direction that Riane needed to go, which was somewhat of a relief. "Oh good. So, a favor for a favor?"
"Um, ok."
-***-
Bryce was on his way to meet his friends before classes started. Neither of them had taken the earliest class as they had taken extra classes as freshmen and sophomores so they could have some free time in the last two years of college. It had been worth it to get the morning off to do extra classwork or just hang out with his friends. Then they got an extended lunch time so they could easily go off campus for lunch.
The cellphone in his back pocket vibrated and he knew right away who it was from. Catherine always sent him a text in the morning when she knew he had arrived at school. Due to the time difference she had already been in classes for a couple hours.
"Good morning! He proposed!" Read the text.
"Congrats." He replied with a frown on his face though he sent a smiley face to her, then shoved the phone back into his pocket.
Stepping into the student lounge, he found his friends at their usual table. The room was mostly tables and chairs with a couple of couches. There were vending machines for food and drink with a couple sparsely placed garbage cans.
The room was mostly empty of other students as not many had done the extra classes and then still showed up in time for first classes.
"You look pissed." Chad said as Bryce sat down beside him in his usual chair.
Bryce sighed, "Catherine just texted me that she got engaged."
All three men shook their heads.
"Why do you still talk to your ex? It's unnatural." Brian sat with his elbows on the table and a soda can in his hands. He was a natural athlete. Tall and well built with brown hair and eyes. He seemed to change girlfriends as often as he did his underwear.
"I agree." Luke echoed. He had thick black rim glasses, blonde hair, and his natural charm was also no stranger to ex-girlfriends, but he had a different approach than Brian. Where Brian used his good looks, Luke used his brain, charisma, and honesty. It seemed to work rather well for him.
"We were close and I want to remain that way." Bryce told them the excuse that he had been telling himself for years.
"I saw you shopping with your brother's girl." Chad decided to change the subject for his best friend. He knew this was a sore subject and had no idea why Bryce would bring it up.
"Why didn't you say hi?"
"You looked cozy and I didn't want to disturb you. Are you trying to steal her away?" He was only teasing and the rest of the group knew it. They all cackled at the thought of Bryce ever acting in such a manner.
"I might." Bryce replied back playfully.
It was as ridiculous to think of Bryce acting immorally as it was Chad. He and Kalei had been together since high school. They were what Bryce had wanted for him and Catherine.
Chad always dressed well and his black hair was always brushed perfectly into shape and always clean cut. He and Bryce could not have been more alike in their thinking, which was probably why they had been friends since elementary school.
"How's that going between them?" Chad inquired.
"Boring!" Brian announced before getting up and heading over to the vending machines, and Luke was right behind him.
"He seems to be getting attached and not just in a friendly way. I don't think he knows what is going on other than he wants all her time to himself." Bryce told him with laughter in his voice. "It's fun to tease him."
Chad smirked, "Uh, yeah, it's always been fun to get that little asshole riled up. The hissy fits alone are worth the price of admission."
"I just don't know if she sees him in the same way. I am not very good at reading her." He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.
"No? You usually are." Chad had a small cup of coffee in front of him that he sipped out of every couple of seconds.
Bryce slowly shook his head, "It's driving me insane. I keep trying to get close and figure her out. At first it was to know the woman that might be my sister-in-law someday, and now it is just a challenge to understand. I tried to let it go for a couple months. I thought that if I lived around her that it would eventually happen, but she is a hard read."
"Emotionless?"
He shook his head, "Nah. Plenty of emotion. It is just that I can never figure out what emotions will manifest, or how she will react to anything. Part of me wonders if she is a sociopath or something, but I know it is not right to act like a psychiatrist."
Chad thought for a moment, "You should be careful."
"What? Why?"
"Focusing on someone like this might cause feelings whether you want them or not, and we both know it would be disastrous for you to get feelings for your future sister-in-law. Not to mention the damage it would cost to your relationship with your brother, even if you never tell him." Chad took another dip from his coffee.
Bryce sighed audibly. "Yeah, maybe you are right. Still, I got to help Julian out and it seems hanging around her makes him feel it more. It's also funny to watch."
"He could do it all on his own. You know sometimes in order to help someone you do nothing at all. Let him fly or fall. He'll learn."
He rolled his eyes, "Aren't you full of wisdom today?"
Chad shrugged, before he chuckled. "I read a bunch of inspiring quotes last night instead of doing my homework."
Brian and Luke returned to the table with several goodies from the vending machine. They were for everyone but Bryce rarely ate anything as he was always provided more than enough for breakfast at home.
"That girl, Callie, has been asking about you. I think she is interested." Brian told Bryce as he peeled the wrapper off a candy bar.
"Not interested." Bryce said without hesitation.
"Oh come on." Luke spat, "She is good looking, nice, and smart. The only bad quality I can think of is that she likes you."
The table laughed briefly, except for Bryce as he had heard that joke a thousand times from each one of these guys.
"I am just not interested in anything serious right now. I've told you guys that before, so just stop, please. I'll act when I am ready not because you want me to be ready." Bryce scolded them as he watched them chow down on their candy bars.
Chad picked up a bag of potato chips and ate a couple before tossing the bag back on the table. "He's right. Leave him alone."
"If we don't push, he'll never do anything." Luke argued.
"It's true. He doesn't want anything serious, but I don't see you going after anything else either. Tell me the truth. The last time you had sex was with Catherine right? At her going away party?" Brian was purposefully trying to provoke him.
"Mind your own business, Brian." Bryce growled.
"Seriously, Brian. Who raised you?" Chad snapped.
He waved his hand at them. "Whatever you two. You'll never get anything in life if you don't go look for it. That's all I am saying."
"Well, say something else, because this topic of discussion is over." Bryce barked.
-***-
Riane had explained her anxiety to Emma, who was more than happy to walk her to her classroom. Once the class was over, Emma appeared at her side to walk her to the next one. It happened with almost all of the classes, except when Emma's classroom was across campus and she wouldn't make it in time.
The two talked on their short walks. Emma telling her about how she had moved from across the country. Her parents were middle class and they could afford a one bedroom apartment for her here at great cost to themselves, but she had to work at a cafe in order to get money to pay for bills and additional costs.
She told her how she worked hard throughout high school because she knew her parents wouldn't be able to afford college. She had to get a full scholarship and had many offers came her way when she started applying. In truth, she had much more lucrative offers from other colleges, but CHU was always her first choice.
She loved how the college established it's classes to be more like a high school than other college campuses. She loved it's history and she loved it's location. It had been a long talk with her parents knowing they would have to sacrifice for her to come here. They hadn't hesitated. "It is only for four years" had been her parent's motto that discussion.
Riane had listened to her new friend talk about herself, but didn't really say much about her own life. She liked to hear the story of the happy family that sacrifices for each other.
Lunch time came around and Riane stepped out of her class and looked around for Emma. The girl came running through the crowd, happy to see her.
"Let's grab some lunch?" Emma asked. She always asked if she wanted to be walked to the next classroom as if she wasn't certain if she was over stepping her boundaries.
Riane nodded, "Sure, but I eat with friends. Do you want to meet them?"
"Sounds scandalous! Sure." Emma and her walked together to the cafeteria, where she stopped uncertain.
"Something the matter?"
Emma looked embarrassed. "Meals here are too expensive. I bring my lunch." She pointed at her backpack. "I usually find a spot to hide away from everyone in there."
Riane considered what she was saying for a moment, "Ok, I'll grab something that we will both like and we can share?"
She grinned, "Of course. It's just a turkey sandwich and some chips though."
"Sounds great. I'll grab my food and then introduce you to my friends, alright?"
Riane quickly went through the line and appeared in front of Emma again. She almost looked relieved to see her walk out of the cafeteria as if she had been afraid of being abandoned. She had been too afraid to enter inside herself, even as the other students passed by her with looks that told her she was not welcomed.
Walking over to the table where the boys were, Seth was the first to notice them. He waved Riane over and was surprised to see a girl following behind her.
"Hey, guys. This is Emma." Riane sat her tray down on the table and Emma sat down beside her.
Julian stared down at his bowl of chowder and didn't respond.
"This is Seth, Dalen, and Julian." Riane introduced them and Emma gave them a slight wave. "I met her when I couldn't find you guys this morning."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I ran late." Seth explained.
Dalen didn't answer and instead looked to Emma. "You are the charity case, aren't you?"
Riane sighed, before correcting him. "Scholarship student."
"I thought the school stopped doing that when they found out that rich girl took the scholarship and pretended to be poor." Seth seemed confused.
"They did for a couple years, but there was a big ruckus about it from the community. They said it was wrong to punish all future students for the misdeeds of one." Dalen explained.
Julian looked up from his bowl, and over to Riane. "You have some poor kid escorting you around the school? At least, pay her."
"Julian, don't be rude." Riane scolded and looked over at Emma. "He's just a jerk, pay him no mind."
"He's your fiancee." Seth teased.
Emma looked shocked, "You didn't tell me you were engaged. Congratulations?"
"It's arranged, don't be too excited." Riane laughed as did Seth and Dalen, though Emma did not see the humor.
"Arranged, I didn't know that was even legal." Emma said with shock in her voice and put her hand to her chest. "You two don't even like each other then?"
"We were friends before it happened."
"It's not really any of your business, how we feel towards each other, now is it?" Julian snapped. "Mind your own business."
"Really, Julian. This is why we only have one female friend." Seth barked back but playfully, before looking back to Emma. "So, what is your major?"
"Computer Science. I wanted to do graphic design and make video games, but it looks like I'll just be programming the game instead. My art is terrible." Emma pulled out her brown paper bag from her backpack and placed it on the table.
Riane had gotten a large slice of pepperoni pizza with a knife to cut it, and had been doing so while Emma talked with Seth.
"That sounds terribly boring." Seth joked.
"It really is." Emma replied as she took her chips and sandwich out of the bag. "Are you sure, you want to share?"
"Yes." Riane pointed to her pizza slice that was now cut in half.
"You'll share with a stranger you just met today, but I eat off your spoon and you lose your mind." Julian growled.
"She is eating food not licking my silverware. What is your problem today?" Riane asked as Emma put half of her sandwich on Riane's tray.
When Emma realized that Julian wouldn't reply, she began to speak. "I make my own garlic aoili. I hope you like it."
Picking up the sandwich, Riane took a bite and gave a thumbs up as she chewed. When she finally swallowed, she put her fingers up to her mouth and made a kissing noise. "That is so good. You make that yourself?"
"Yes. It's not difficult."
"Can I try?" Seth asked.
Riane cut a piece off with her knife and offered it to him, and he down the whole piece in one bite. Emma looked anxious over his answers.
"Oh, man, that is really good. Dalen likes to cook too." He turned to his quiet friend, "You should try this."
Dalen turned annoyed towards Riane as she offered him a piece of the sandwich. He ate it quickly at first, but then slowed his annoyed movement. "How do you make it that creamy? Mine is always a little bit thinner."
"Grapeseed oil with the olive oil." She explained.
"You want to try Julian?" Riane asked.
He looked up from his bowl of chowder that he hadn't yet touched, and frowned. "I don't want a piece of a sandwich you all have passed around the table."
Riane sighed, "You are really grumpy today, you know that?"
He responded with silence and returned to his uneaten soup. Riane looked across the table to Seth, who merely shrugged his shoulders.
-***-
Adonia had watched Riane get her lunch, leave the cafeteria, and return with another woman in tow. She had stared as she introduced her new friend to the guys and acted as if they had not learned something truly frustrating about Blake.
Was she not even thinking about it? Was it so easy to ignore the pain of another? Was she not even worth greeting?
Riane seemed perfectly fine and perhaps even happy with her situation. It was a difficult choice for Adonia not to blame Riane as others had. She was an easy target after all she was the reason that Blake messed up his past relationships. However, that was Blake putting Riane before the girlfriends not Riane demanding the attention.
"Where is Blake?" Kalei asked as she ate her chicken salad that she had meticulously measured out the dressing with a small tablespoon she carried on her keyring.
Adonia didn't answer and continued to stare at the woman in the distance. Jealousy seethed deep in her heart even when her brain continued to tell her that the jealousy was really frustration with Blake.
"Adonia?" Parker followed her line of sight, and thought it curious that she would be staring at Riane.
"Adonia?" Kalei said slightly louder and looked toward Parker who mouthed the name of the woman she was looking at.
Still she stared off into the distance, lost in her own world. Her eyes glazed over as she sat deep in thought.
"Adonia!" Parker barked and snapped her fingers in front of her friend's face until she blinked and turned her attention to them.
"Sorry, what?" Her eyes seemed to adjust to a more present look.
"Where is Blake?" Kalei asked again.
Adonia shrugged her shoulders and looked back down at her own salad. She hated salads but both her friends got one and she felt inclined.
Parker continued the inquest. "He isn't eating with us, and he isn't eating with Riane. I haven't seen him come in here."
She sighed, "We had a big argument over the weekend."
"You two fought, really?" Parker said in shock.
"Yeah, I can't imagine you two fighting. He is always so even tempered and calm." Kalei added as she ate a piece of chicken and some feta from her salad.
Adonia sighed, "I guess it would be more accurate to say that I fought and he calmly discussed, or at least he tried to."
"What happened?" Parker leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. She was always a fast eater and was pretty much done with her meal.
"I... He is an asshole." She growled.
Neither of her friends could understand why she would say such a thing, and both were shocked that Adonia would refer to him as such.
"Why?" Kalei leaned in closer. "What did he do?"
"Did he cheat?" Parker got herself angry.
Adonia shook her head and ran her hand through her hair. "No, we went on that double date with Julian and Riane. They seemed to like each other, I guess. Something still feels off about them. Anyway, I get invited over to Blake's house on Sunday, and he asks me if it would be alright if he pretended that he was engaged to Riane."
"What?" Both girls squeaked. "Why?"
"He seems to think that Riane isn't happy with him, and that she can move into his apartment in order for her to finish college, then he and I could officially be together again. That is my understanding at least." Adonia had been stabbing her food with her fork, but not actually eating any of it.
"That asshole." Parker hissed.
"Yeah, are you two not suppose to date at all or are you suppose to run around behind the curtains just pretending to be Riane's friend?" Kalei was eating her food like this was a movie and her salad was her popcorn.
"The latter, I suppose. I refused. If we got caught everyone would think that I am a cheater, and if they broke up and he and I got back together people would think that I broke them up." She pressed her lips together and tried to maintain a proper volume for her voice. "It is incredibly inconsiderate of him, and he just only sees it as protecting Riane."
"That explains the stink eye." Parker laughed.
"Yeah, you should end it with him. Obviously, he cares more about her than you." Kalei looked to Parker for validation of her opinion and got a nod of approval.
"I... I can't do that."
"What? Why?" They both chimed in together.
She took a deep breath, "It's not Riane's fault. All those years of him losing girlfriends; I always thought she was the reason that they were run away, but it isn't that at all is it? He just picks Riane over and over again, until there is no room for the girlfriend anymore."
"Are you saying like he is in love with her?" Parker drank from her water bottle after asking the question.
"I have not even considered it." She said flatly.
Kalei was quick to add to Parker's theory. "But... it would make sense. After all, he was stuck on her being a 'he' for so long maybe he got confused about his feelings towards her."
Adonia gave another huge sigh and licked her lips as she sat back in her chair. She thought for several moments before answering. "I don't know. It seems so heartbreaking to think that they both were in love with each other and couldn't admit it."
"You are seriously feeling bad for them, when you are the victim?" Kalei rolled her eyes. "I swear Adonia sometimes you are too sweet."
"What are you going to do, Adonia?" Parker decided now was not the time to tease her friend for having a caring heart.
"I am not going to let him chase me away. If he wants things to end than he has to end them." She saw the look of shock on their faces. "I know that sounds vengeful, and to some degree it is, but also I refuse to be just another girl he can blame Riane because they left him."
"So, you are protecting Riane?" Parker asked in confusion.
Adonia tossed her hands in the air, "I have no idea. I just know that I want to be different. If that means I stay and earn his real affection than I win, but if I am finally the woman that he is forced to end things with then I win too. Either way, things will be different. I won't be that same damn story that he constantly hides behind."
"Wow." Kalei barely spoke the word.
"I don't know if that makes you selfish or selfless." Parker added.
She pressed her lips together once more, "I guess there is only one way to find out."
"Well, I have a question." Kalei looked between both of the women. "Are you doing it because you are angry or because you love him?"
Adonia was surprised by the inquiry. "Love." She whispered the word.
Kalei smiled, "Well, then it's selfless. Anyone want to share a dessert? I have been having a craving for the chocolate mousse I saw in there."
-***-
Ivy worked the day shift at the old, dirty bar. It was a small two bartender bar with a green top, and green stools. There were about ten tables that sat four each and the whole place smelled of cooking oil.
It was mostly old men with nothing better to do with their days. During lunch time it would get a bit busy because their kitchen turned out rather decent bar appetizers that some liked for a meal.
At night she worked at a night club as a bartender as well. It had been where she had met Julian. She knew they weren't more than friends with benefits and at first she had fun with it. However, he started lingering by saying he didn't want to go home yet. He made breakfast a couple of times, and she in turn did it for him. It had begun to feel like a real relationship, even though he took other girls out of the club at times. They never talked about exclusivity so it was fine.
Making her last drink of the day, she poured the bourbon into the glass along with the bar's old fashion mix. Sitting in front of an elder man in his sixties, she smiled.
"Have a good one, Henry." She said as she took off her apron and tossed it into the bin.
He mumbled a goodbye.
She grabbed her cash register drawer as the bartender relieving her was waiting to put her own in. "Have fun." She told Beth as she headed to the manager's office up the stairs.
"You working at the club tonight?" Beth asked before she got to far.
She nodded, "Yeah, club on a Monday night, I'll be rolling in the cash."
Beth laughed as she put her drawer into the cash register. "See ya, hon."
Up the stairs she ascended until she reached the door. She knocked before opening it, and smiled at the chubby, short man that was her manager. "I'm heading out now."
"Ok, put it on my desk." Marty was looking at something on his computer monitor.
She did as she was asked and left him to his work. Her faux fur jacket was in the office with him and she grabbed it before heading back down the stairs.
"Bye, everyone!" She said loudly.
"Bye, Ivy." Was mostly mumbled through the quiet bar.
Stepping outside, she looked across the street to the apartments she lived in. They were all small studio apartments, but it was home to her.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she opened up her text screen and found Julian. "I am very sorry about the other night. I had drank way too much, and went insane. I am cutting back so it will never happen again, I promise."
She put the phone away and shoved her hands into her pockets, as she quickly crossed the street. She was embarrassed by her actions, and had been trying to apologize since it happened, but there was no reply. She knew that her relationship with Julian was over and it was once again because she hit that line from being a fun drunk to being angry and willing to do crazy things.
Pulling out her keys, she found her apartment on the first floor and opened the door.
The studio had a small kitchen consisting of a small stove, a tiny fridge, one counter top with cabinet attached, and a cupboard above it. The only other piece of furniture she had was a red love seat that she used as her bed or sometimes she slept on the floor in a sleeping bag. Julian had loved sleeping on the floor with her, he said it was like indoor camping. She had a tiny television that had been a gift from a friend that she had put on a box filled with books. It wasn't attached to any service so she only got local channels and they were rather unwatchable because of the static.
Walking over to the cupboard, she pulled out a package of ramen. She had to go into the bathroom to get water from the sink to fill the cooking pot. She used to buy water and store near the kitchen, but it took up a great deal of room and was expensive. There had been complaints about there being no sinks in the kitchen, but nothing ever came of it. Most people that lived here didn't want to cause a fuss because losing your home could easily occur.
She put the pot on the electric coil of the stove and stood there watching it boil for a moment, before walking into the bathroom and quickly brushing her white hair with pink tips. She looked at herself in the mirror for a couple seconds to check her skin for any imperfections.
Heading back out into the main room, she pulled her cellphone from her jacket pocket and opened the text screen again. "I would really like to apologize to your fiancee. I mean it. I am not trying to set you up or anything. At least, let me know that you apologized on my behalf."
She tossed the phone onto the couch and sat down with a big thud. This was what her life had boiled down to now.
She didn't have to live this way. Her mother was a pediatrician and her father was a police officer. They had raised three children together. One went to school to become a doctor, the other joined the military to follow in his father's footsteps, and Ivy, well, she was done with school. She had always hated it. She was always the problem child. The wild child. The child that wanted attention even if it was negative.
"Go to college or get out of my house!" Were the last words her father had said to her, and her mother had merely nodded her head in agreement.
She didn't know if they really thought she would leave, but she packed her bags and walked out before any more words could be said. She was eighteen and now six years later she was no better for her decision. Alcohol and drug abuse were just the common theme of her life since then, and she knew it fully well.
She had gone to meetings but she hated when they told her to give herself over to a higher power. They said that higher power could be anything she wanted; a tree, a cat, anything. The idea of giving up power over herself even if it were made up thing like a tree just caused her resentment. She was the power in her life, even if it was a shit hole apartment with two low paying jobs.
Her brother and sister had stopped talking to her after a while. All the abandonment was her fault and that much she could admit.
She had stopped her activities for around six months, but started up again one night when she was feeling lonely. That was probably why she clung to Julian so tightly when she knew he would run away in the end. Loneliness had been a driving force in her life.
She wondered what would have happened had she done what her parents said? Would she be a successful business woman? A nurse, maybe? Some weird job that she had never heard of but made a good amount of money. Would she have a stable relationship?
Or maybe she would be worse than this? Maybe she would be miserable about the job she was stuck in. Maybe she would hate the man she was with, but be too afraid to end things with him. Maybe she would be resentful of her parents for taking away her opportunity to explore herself before making any big decisions like a college degree.
"I just want to spend one year abroad, and then I'll go." She had told them and part of her knew it was a lie. She never wanted to step foot on a school campus again.
"You can spend time abroad on your own money!" Her father had yelled.
He wasn't exactly wrong, and she was lying about going to college. Her father knew her well enough. He said it to give her a reason to go and get a degree, even if only the community college would take her, unlike her sister.
Last she heard, her brother was out of the military and was working on his own degree, but she often heard things through eighth hand information sources. They didn't talk to her.
Her parents had showed up here one time and were disgusted by her living conditions. They wanted to send her to rehab, but she sent them away. She didn't want them to do anything for her ever again, because they used it to control her.
She sighed, as she thought about her situation now. She needed to apologize for what she had done, and if Julian wouldn't respond to her then she knew where to find his fiancee. It would mean a school campus, but she wanted to clear the air. She needed someone to forgive her even if it was only halfheartedly and then they never wanted to see her again.
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